Beauty is an addiction and an obsession for many.
This world has equated the worth of women to the perception of their beauty. The impossible measure of beauty has caused many so much pain and that was never God’s intention in making women.
Many of us are always seeking the magic answer that will make us more beautiful, more desirable to the world. I just got finished watching 30 minutes on Youtube of mid-twenty wholesome, beautiful girls spending an inordinate of times transforming themselves with endless loads of makeup into glamazons. Amid compliments of “girl, your face is beat” and “SLAY….” they are just a shadow of their makeup-free, fresh-faced selves. When did we get so obsessed with our looks to the detriment of our inner beauty? When did we get so obsessed with ourselves? Trust me, I put myself in this category as well.
God made us beautiful, every single one of us.
Each one of us, He knit us perfectly in our mother’s wombs. When we were little, we knew we were magnificent and no one could not tell us any different. Slowly but surely, somewhere around grade school, the self confidence, the internal assurance began to crumble.
I remember one incident that especially hurt my self esteem. My mother had gone out of town and I was staying with a family friend. I really adored the daughters of this family, the older I worshiped and the younger I adored. On one particular day, it was just myself and the older daughter in the house. She was on the phone talking to a friend and complaining bitterly about me, “Her hair is so nappy and so thick, god, it is ugly!” In the next room, I heard every word she uttered and remembered the shame and embarrassment.
Subconsciously, I believed that something was wrong with me, with my hair and maybe I was not as amazing and beautiful as my mother told me.
As I grew, whenever there was a rejection it seemed like a confirmation of that destructive thought, “I am not pretty, I am not OK as I am.”
So I got in line, I permed my hair, I wore makeup, I wore the right clothing, I worked on being friends with the right girls and sought affirmation from men. I was elated when I received it and crushed when I did not receive it.
But no matter what, there was always this emptiness, I equate it to a black hole because the affirmation and the acceptance felt good for a little while but eventually I was needy again.
This world is unforgiving with women and it can never affirm us, people can never affirm us, only God can.
We have to go to God to find our worth to find our true beauty. He is the only one who can affirm us and fill up the black hole with his love, acceptance and encouragement, not people.
So here are my top five reasons why God can be the only answer to the aching question, “am I beautiful?”
Top 5 Reasons to Seek God for Affirmation
“A king’s heart is a water channel in the Lord’s hand:He directs it wherever He chooses.” Why waste your time seeking affirmation from ants when you can serve the Almighty God? He controls all things and all people.When God is rooting for you, He can turn the heart of your boss, the heart of your spouse, the heart of your enemy to benefit you. Proverbs 21:1 says in the Lord’s hand, the king can provide abundance, favor and blessings to God’s chosen. Look at the stories of Esther, Joseph, David, Daniel, and many others in the Bible who God hand picked and elevated through the governing powers of that time. Stop sitting at the kids table when God has a seat for you with adults.
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 says fearing the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom and those who fear the Lord shall be praised. Fleeting means vanishing quickly, short-lived brief and swift. So therefore, if you have hung your life on being beautiful what happens when beauty fades? Do not root your worth in temporal things.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” Your beauty should be innate as much a part of you as your energy and your soul. Beauty should not be something you can take off or put on for that matter like jewelry, clothes or makeup, it should be baked into your spirit. Taking on the character of Jesus, his humility and his kindness is beauty incarnate. When you find your beauty in worldly things in your external looks, it is counterfeit, not lasting. Find your affirmation and worth in the character of Jesus.
“For it was You who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful and I know this very well.” I read Psalm 139:14 countless times but I understood this verse much differently as I grew closer to the Lord. God made every single one of us, each person He handcrafted with precision and purpose. I do not know if you have ever knitted before, I tried it for a half a second and gave up in frustration. Knitting is not for the impatient, it is for the precise, the painstaking and the patient. And God took his time with you, He was precise, He was particular and He was purposeful. God makes no mistakes, He made you for a time such as this, He made you to look just as you do and you are perfection in His eyes, bump what everyone else thinks.
“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly that you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” I was whining about some small annoyance to a dear sister friend in Christ, she listened patiently and then quoted Romans 12:3. It snapped me right out of my self-obsessed coma and I thanked her quickly for the correction. A huge reason why we crave affirmation is to feed our always hungry, never satisfied egos. Behind all of it is a sin that has proven to be the downfall of many including our enemy, that is PRIDE. Ladies, we have to check ourselves, check our prideful attitudes and our obsession with self. Jesus never thought of Himself only others, He was extremely obedient to God to the point of dying for us. We, too, must lay down our focus on self and focus on Christ.