Fearless Living 101: Make God Your BFF

What does it mean to be fearless?  To live life without abandon and care, to take the risk and have it pay off greatly is a life many of us seek. 

Fear is easy, the world is so unpredictable, dangerous even,  it is easy to be fearful. But courage, that is much harder.

As a child, I was fearless, at just the ages of two and three, I fractured my arms and legs numerous times. I would jump off anything with height, jungle gyms, shopping carts, swings, I just knew I was born to fly and for a few seconds I did! My mom and I were in the Emergency Department so much the staff and physicians thought I might be getting abused at home. I suppose I was confused about my identity, imagining I was a bird rather than a human being! As I grew older, I became more cautious, more aware of the constraints and dangers of the world around me, I took less risks and valued safety above all. This is what happens to many people, we become less in touch with the God we serve and the genius He created us with and more intimidated by the world around us.

It is with intention that I am beginning this study on fearless living with God because it all begins with Him. To begin without Him is a mistake. God provides a safe place for us to confront and overcome fear. Trust in God with all your heart and do not learn to your own understanding, (Proverbs 3:5-6), Keep your eyes always on God. With Him your right hand, you will not be shaken. (Proverbs 22:12),  There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear, (1 John 4:18). All of these promises He gives to us regarding His power over the fear in our lives. Remember, He is bigger than all of it. In the midst of fear, it can feel big, overwhelming and even insurmountable. Despite all of that, He is bigger, so much bigger. He has power over the fear but it is all up to us regarding His level of participation in overcoming it.

What do I mean?

All of the Bible verses shared speak to the importance of PROXIMITY when living a fearless life. In order to build a relationship with another person, learn from them and grow something together, it requires intentianal time. I spend time with all of my friends, many do not live in the same city in which I do but we intentionally find time to talk on the phone in order to keep up with each other’s lives and maintain the friendship. It is important to both of us so we make time for each other. The same is true for God, He is always present, waiting with ope arms of love. But we must make the time to meet with Him, during that time, we can give Him our fears and obtain peace and love in exchange.

I see a clear difference in my life, when I am intentional in spending time with God, not much ruffles me. Issues in the past that might have made me fearful do not bother me, I can release the issue to Him and stay focused in the moment. I can take risks and do so with confidence because I know He is with me and seeing me through all of it. Not only He is present but I trust Him that the outcome will be the very best for me.

God is ready and waiting for you on the other side of fear, take the first step!

Return to Childhood

I love watching little children, their simplicity is beautiful. They forgive and forget in seconds, they are perpetually happy often in fits of giggles over the most mundane delight. They have boundless energy, tearing off in a matter of seconds off on a new adventure with an exhausted mother frantically chasing after them. Most of all, I love that kids love, they love everyone, no prejudice, no bias, no hidden motives or unethical intentions, they are genuine through and through.

For children, they do what brings them joy, what comes naturally to them, not yet affected by the pressures of their life, their desires are pure and natural. When I was a child, I wanted to act, I loved to express myself creatively. I enjoyed reading and writing and enjoyed spending time in nature. As I grew up, I was in a number of plays that I absolutely enjoyed. But, I put away the dream of acting for more sensible pursuits, a career where I could actually make a living and use a college degree.

Now as an adult, I examine my life and realize the things that bring me the most joy are the activities I did as a child. As children, it is clear what bring us joy, our passions. Yet as we grow older we exchange our childlike pursuits for what well meaning parents advise, teachers recommend and what is attractive to society. We absorb all these ideas and adopt them as our own forgetting the beautiful simple joys of childhood.

What if we returned? Left the grown up expectations and mindset by the wayside and returned to the simplicity of childhood joy. Basic. Simple. Fulfilling.

As a child, I was really adventurous, I used to jump off of anything with some height to it, jungle gyms, grocery carts, swings mid flight, everything. Much to my mother’s horror, I just would not stop, I was fearless, bold and unstoppable. I broke my arm three times as a child, the pain and the surprise of breaking my limbs never stopped me, I was determined to fly and to adventure. Somewhere in middle school, my wings got clipped. I started to feel insecure and desperate to please others with who I was and my accomplishments. I learned quickly what was acceptable and what was not and succumbed quickly. Later in life, I learned the lesson you are a slave of whatever and whomever you choose to obey. People are harsh slavemasters, never satisfied and rarely pleased. People pleasing is a circle of hurt, imperfect people influencing and creating other hurt, imperfect people, all who pass around their different mutations of dysfunction like gifts on Christmas morning.

So what is the answer? The answer is to simply to bow out, excuse yourself from the circus, exit the dance floor and interrupt the soundtrack of your life and adopt something else entirely. Return to a time when as a child where love reigned supreme. When there was nothing that could not be done and your heart’s desires were pure and given from God not tainted by other’s expectations and failed accomplishments. Maybe you are so far gone, you are not even sure what it would mean to return to childhood. It requires an unlearning of damaging lessons, an undoing of knots and releasing habits and thoughts that do not serve you.

Life is not meant to be complicated, we make it so. Embrace simplicity of life with intention, purity and peace.

Please know I am not suggesting that you act in an immature way or engage in destructive behaviors as an adult but I am asking you to take a step back to childhood, to developing a mind of love, forgiveness, peace and goodness. To return to the activities, thoughts and vision that ignite your heart and your soul. Do more of the things that you would do if no one paid you and it was not appreciated by the adult world. To not seek approval from others but only from the God who made you because this is where true happiness lies.

How to Achieve Hard Stuff

I considered myself to be a fairly fit person until I met Stone Mountain. Stone Mountain is a sight to behold, about 10 miles outside of downtown Atlanta,  it is the world’s largest piece of exposed granite. It is a sight to behold. When you get to the top of Stone Mountain, the view will take your breath away with a breathtaking view of Atlanta and the surrounding areas, it is glorious. On one side of the mountain is a carving of the leaders of the Confederate army, which is fraught with all types of controversy as to whether it should be removed but that is the subject for another post.

The road to Stone Mountain is steep, uneven and deceiving with jutting rocks and gravel. It is so deceiving you will ascend to one portion of the mountain and believe you have reached the top and then you will catch sight just ahead of an even steeper incline in front of you. It is completely unpredictable. At the end of summer, September 2018, I began my first of many hikes up Stone Mountain. The battle up the mountain made me consider what it means to achieve hard stuff in this world, to go against the tide, to scale high heights that not many would attempt.

It is not easy but so worth it. Once, I finally made it to the top, the view was so worth it. It was even more worth it for the euphoria of accomplishment and overcoming a difficult challenge. In my way down, in a moment of deep reflection, I began to list the top 5 necessary items and tools to achieve hard stuff so here are my musings:

5. Don’t be surprised by a lack of motivation or times of frustration, prepare for it.

When you start the challenge, you are going to be hyped, excited, ready to take on the world. It will not last, it never does. Most people think it will so they do not prepare for when it does not and they believe they no longer supposed to continue. Not true. Everything is seasonal, even motivation but the key is to keep going even when you are not feeling it. How do you do that? Great question. Here some other tips to keep yourself motivated in the midst of an uphill battle.

4. Get your tribe.

I started hiking by myself but eventually fell in step with a group. 
one was a man who looked to be in his 60s, another was a family with a boy who looked to be like 3 or 4 years old with a walking stick. Everytime I looked at these two athletes and the other people in our little makeshift group, I said surely, if they can do it, I can too. My ankle started throbbing at one point, I stopped briefly to stretch it out and then kept moving to catch up with the group. Get people around you who are moving in the same direction who will push you to make it.

3. Acknowledge the pain but do not bask in it.

Doing hard stuff is well…hard, no ifs, ands or buts around it, that is why so many people avoid hard stuff, it takes determination, time and resources do hard stuff. Some things you encounter will be painful, I guarantee it. But similar to what I mentioned with my ankle, acknowledge the pain but don’t fall into the trap of self pity and fear. I can say this honestly because I did it for years, it is easy to do but I believe if you keep moving you will learn how to manage the pain yet still make the destination (and win!) or the pain will go away on its own and the goal is still met (another win!) Keep moving, don’t let pain stop you.

2. Focus on the end to get you through.

At one point, every muscle in my body felt like it was screaming and ready to give up in protest. So, I started to play a game where I imagined myself at the top, wind blowing through my hair, relaxed and accomplished. Did it make the pain stop? Nope. Did it make it bearable? Absolutely. I stopped focusing on it, it was like an annoying photo bomber who just refuses to step out of your frame but it was not the main thing. The main thing was the top, the goal of completing, finishing, accomplishing, my mind was already there just had to physically get there

1. Pay it Forward.

When I got to the top, it was glorious, my body felt like one big ball of hurt but my mind and spirit felt incredible. It was better than I imagined the view, the feeling, the wind and the sense of peace and accomplishment. I basked in it for awhile and the headed back down the mountain, triumphant and pleased. Well on the way down the mountain, I ran into my former self, so many people still making the upward battle, faces twisted in pain, chests heaving, wondering when and if the end will ever come. And I started cheerleading, I encouraged them, told them “you are almost there, great job, keep going, you are going to feel so great when you are done.” I saw there faces relax for a bit, renewed confidence and focus and their pace quicken a bit in anticipation for the end. We all need encouragement, we are just wired that way. Once we make it, we have an obligation to help others, we cannot do it for them, we may not be able to carry them but we can encourage them, we can be open to serve as inspiration that they can do it too and it is possible.

I believe we are created for hard stuff, if you are not moving forward, you are falling back.

Look at how beautifully complex our bodies and minds are, we were created to solve problems, achieve the unattainable and scale the impossible.

We owe it to our Creator and we owe it to ourselves.

Go get it.

Good Dirt

I am not extremely familiar with horticulture but I am pretty familiar with the basics. The cycle of horticulture is standard, the cycle of planting, tending, watering, growing, pruning and harvesting. This concept is a powerful analogy of the concept of our lives. In the lives of humans, ideas, habits, mindsets, activities are planted in our lives either through things we have adopted through experiences like family or environment, things we have learned and adopted along the way. These systems will inevitably produce a harvest, one that we appreciate or one that we struggle with. When these new habits or thoughts are presented to our lives, we often do not give much thought to the outcome, perhaps at the time it addresses a need or seems like a worthy pastime.

I remember when I started feeling anxious as a child. It was all tied to my mother. As a precocious only child raised by a single mother, I viewed my parent as my only lifeline and I constantly worried something would happen to her. I remember fearfully looking out a large picture window in the living room of our flat waiting for my mom to arrive home. My ten year old mind would race fearing she had been in a car accident or accosted by an armed person because she should have been home ten minutes ago. Each night, she would arrive home a few minutes later and I would breathe a huge sigh of relief. This went on for years and my fears graduated to what people thought of me, my future, my job, my safety, and anything else I could find to be afraid of. In retrospect, I never learned the skill of acknowledging and addressing fear in a positive manner. I never challenged the fear with trust or love. And so it grew, like a seed planted, I watered it with insecurity, fear, ignorance and consistency. As an adult in her thirties, I bore the harvest of years of unaddressed fears. I suffered anxiety attacks every day and would sleep for hours just to escape the thoughts. Sometimes, I would wake up and mercifully, I could function for awhile, most often I could not, they would instantly return.

Through misery and pain, I learned something had to change and it needed to be me. I began to plant different seeds through actively seeking a relationship with God, facing my vulnerabilities and dysfunctions, allowing God to heal my insecurities and destroy lies with truth. It was a slow process, too slow for my liking. But, we must understand planting and harvesting is a slow process despite the desire for immediate results.

God’s process is so much better than immediate results. It was four years before I started to feel some substantive relief But, during that time, I experienced the most ugly and beautiful time of my life as I clung to God as the only lifeline who could help me. God rooted me in Him, I can never fool myself into thinking I did anything, during those four years I was sustained by God. Not only did I keep my job but I thrived in my job, received a promotion and received awards for the work I had done. Simultaneously, I became the president of a non profit organization with over 150 members and managed a team of 12 board members, all while experiencing the most challenging season of my life. In hindsight, it is incredible and glorious to see the favor of God in your life even as you struggle.

Every day, you are planting with the thoughts you think, the activities you do, the people you spend time with and the words you say. Make them good, make them holy so it will reap and incredible harvest. A good question to ask, is will this thought, person or experience bring me a positive result in the future? Or negative? Then with your knowledge make a choice.

the Bible says, “the power of life and death is in the power of the tongue and those that love it, shall eat its fruit, Proverbs 18:21. In Deuteronomy 30:19-20 it says, “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.”

We make choices every day, recognize that choices are connected to the future, they have promissory notes that state, if you do this, this will happen or if you select this, that will happen. Choose that which will serve God and bring life. Choose wisely.

How to Make Better Decisions

It was my birthday (YAY!) and I was running errands and getting ready to attend a celebratory dinner with a friend. I stopped by the mall and decided to peep into a designer store. This store was the one that I always peered into with wide eyes but never went in, because, I just know everything was out of my price range.  Not today. High on birthday gladness, I boldly walked right into the store and started looking at pieces. Just as I suspected, most of the clothing items were well out of my budget, like more than my rent out of my budget. However, I spied a pretty pair of wide leg pants and after inspecting the price, was shocked to see they were expensive but not expensive expensive like the other items. I tried them on and they fit perfectly, the sales women complimented me profusely and once I told them it was my birthday, they just exclaimed, Well you just have to get them, it is your day.” I began to think to my self, “you know what it is my day! I deserve these, I need them.” Never mind, I was saving money to pay down debt, I deserved those pants! So I bought them and walked out of the mall feeling triumphant.

Two weeks later, one of the seams in the pants came a loose, I got it fixed and then another seam came a loose and the pants turned into an utter tattered mess. I COMPLETELY regretted making such an emotional decision, can anyone relate to making such a poor emotional decision?

As human beings we make a lot of decisions each day, they are necessary and important, yet many of the decisions made are based on our emotions, how we feel at any particular moment. Basing decisions on our feelings is  an inherent problem because  feelings change from day to day, heck minute by minute! Emotional decisions can leave us with regret, emptiness and shame wondering, how did I get this so wrong??

The decisions we make leave clues about who we are and what we value. Decisions lead to habits, habits lead to a lifestyle and lifestyles do provide certain results in our lives, positive and negative. If you tell me about your decisions, I can learn what you value and prioritize where you place your self esteem and ultimately where you are headed. Ultimately, decisions point to the direction in which your life is headed and consequently, your destination. Decisions, not intention will lead your life.

So given the gravity of decisions, how do we make better ones?


Most companies have a mission statement as well as values that dictate the company operations, brand, people and vision. This mission statement is a beacon of light communicating priorities and vision to employees and customers alike. At companies that are really excelling you can ask any employee at random and he/she can say the mission statement without missing a beat.

You, my friend, are also a brand, a force in your own right and therefore, should have your own mission statement, your own values that you live your life by.

We all have values but have you given thought to them or even written them down?  If you are not sure where to start, think about what is most important to you? What principles do you live your life by? What wakes you up in the morning?

For me, my values are God over everything, purpose, loving people, joy and lightness. In my life when I encounter decisions, I put them next to my mission statement and and
I ask myself, will this exemplify loving God with all my heart, loving myself, loving others? Will this set people free in their mind, spirit and body? If the answer is no, the decision is easy. If I a m unsure then I need to seek God for answers. I have learned to be prayerful about many things, my purpose, who to hire? What to do on a daily basis? And even what to eat?

Line up every decision and compare it to your values, nothing is excluded, include friends, job opportunities, goals, activities, matters of the heart and everything between, and then, decide accordingly.


We have qualified, your emotions cannot be your barometer, they change too much, they are unsteady and not trustworthy. In contrast, you have to find something weighty, strong, stable and consistent to use as a foundation.

My foundation is God, Jesus and the Bible, it is stable when I am not. When I do not feel like forgiving someone, I read the Bible and decide to do it anyway. When I feel like worrying because I do not have control and am scared, I read the Word and it encourages me not to worry no matter what I face and to let it go. It pushes me beyond emotion to make decisions that align to the values I have set for myself. It is absolute.


There are decisions and habits so ingrained in our being, we have to do considerable digging and self reflection to change those decisions. Some decisions are so ingrained they are automatic like judging others or speaking negatively to yourself or even deciding to pursue something you have never done before.

Begin to ask yourself, why you do, what you do? Please note, this is not for the faint of heart, this is designed for those who understand the gravity of decisions and are focused on making thoughtful decisions that will lead them to their goals.

As you assess your decisions, you may trace them all the way back to your childhood. Maybe Mom taught you the best way to handle conflict is to ignore it so now you run from conflict and give excuses to yourself why you cannot face it. Maybe you told a love interest your feelings and he/she betrayed you, so now you keep your heart tucked away so no one can break it again. The decisions we make and the habits we conduct over and over again are often tied to past experience or hurts deeply ingrained in our psyche.

Recognizing the genesis of these roots is the first step and then taking action to address it. This can be done in counseling, using affirmations to start overcoming the fear and past hurts and letting God take the time to heal your heart. As you undergo the healing process, you will identify alternative actions for those that used to be automatic. When the decisions come, you will perceive it differently and in turn select differently. As you move towards better decisions, the outcomes will also change for the better.

How to Face Fear and Win

Hello Darling!

Have you ever felt absolutely paralyzed by fear? Unable to make a move forward, just rooted in place by sheer terror, I certainly have and it is the worst. It has taken me a number of years to learn how to face my fears and overcome them God’s way. I am excited to share with you what I have learned in hopes to save you from unnecessary pain and suffering.

Fear is manufactured by the enemy of our soul to steal, kill and destroy that which is our destiny and ultimately our blessings.

That is his only intention. How many times have the things you fear actually happened? I guarantee the answer is rarely most likely never. Somehow God has always stepped in, He always moved, always showed up and showed out. Oftentimes our imaginations are always much worse than the reality and we make inferences about outcomes based on our limited understanding of the circumstances. So why fear?

Fear is the archenemy of faith and they cannot coexist together, one will take the throne of your life.

The devil is hoping you will succumb to your fears, he knows, that when we fear, we are in his territory and he is free to play with our minds. God works by faith, we must believe in order for God to move in our lives. Trust is the drawbridge for God to enter the tower of our problems and destroy them. When in fear, we conveniently forget the numerous times God has delivered us from past situations. We become so fixated on the current situation that we are unable to recount God’s deliverance or even draw upon His love. This has happened to me more times than I count and then when God delivers me as He always does, I am repentant and sad, feeling horrible now on the other side that I did not trust. But when faced with another anxiety inducing situation, I get back on the merry go round of fear and of course, God mounts his white horse as always and does His part again despite my faithlessness. When does it stop?

It stops when we stop. It stops when we decide no more.

As the righteous, we are instructed to live by faith not sight, to humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand and resist the devil, to be anxious for nothing but come to our Father with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, presenting our requests to God.

And then accept and revel in his peace….Simple right?

It is deceptively simple. And we must believe that God is capable and willing to help us. The last thing I want to share with you before we talk about the keys to freedom is fear is a SIN. It says in Romans 14:23, “Everything that does not come from faith is sin.” Many times when we are anxious or worried, we are seeking to control the situation, figure it out in our own human strength. In essence, we are saying, God, I know you are all powerful, all omniscient and the absolute manifestation of all that is good and loving, but I do not trust you to do what you say, I do not trust who you are or actually, I do not trust that this is all going to turn out the way I WANT IT.

So, God, step aside, I GOT THIS. Sounds pretty bad, right? IT IS.

Fear is defiance, rebellion and just straight up disobedience. Period. Point blank. The end.

I bet you are like me and do not want to be disobedient, so now with this new knowledge, how do we stop?

I would like to share with you a few life changes to kick fear in the butt once and for all.

Let’s go……


If you are not spending daily time with the Lord, you are losing.

How can you trust someone you do not know?

Ladies, the Word is truth, sharper than a two edged sword. The Word will change you from the inside out, make you stronger and show you God’s way of living life. You cannot go into battle without a weapon and that is what the Word is in your daily life.


How many times have you read something and not absorbed it? Plenty, I am sure. When reading the Bible, focus on quality rather than quantity.

When you read the Word, meditate on it, which, means reflective contemplation, to determine meaning, significance or a plan of action.

The Bible is timeless and is just as applicable now as it was thousands of years ago. So as you read consider, what does this mean? What is God saying to me? How can I apply it to my life? Another way to meditate on the Word is to journal about what God is saying to you through the passage. Another option I use often is to create notecards of certain Bible verses and carry them with me throughout the day to remind myself often of God’s promises. I also prop notecards up on the dash of my car to look at them as needed when I drive. I also have a vision board that shows the manifestation of God’s Word in my life. You can also put up post-its around your house to refer to as well. Do what works for you to weave God’s Word into your daily life.


When you fear, PRAY.

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast your cares upon the Lord, because He cares for us.” So when you feel fear, your fears upon Him. And keep doing it. If you have to keep casting those fears throughout the day, keep doing it. Although, it may seem like overkill, keep doing it. Just as your mind became trained to fear, it must now be trained to release fear to the only one who can do something about it. Use God’s promises that you learn in the Word to cast out fear in prayer. Write out a prayer strategy to overcome recurring fears.


Beautiful, understand who is the boss and it is not these thoughts or even your mind. Proverbs 23:7 says,”As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” If you believe, you cannot overcome fear, you will not be able to.

But, I am here to tell you, YOU CAN.

The power that resurrected Jesus Christ lives in you, so what exactly does that mean?

You have the most powerful, healing and life giving being inside of you, the power to overcome all evil lives inside of you in the Holy Spirit. Everything must submit to the power of God including your body and mind.

Once you fully understand and walk in this fact, the battle is won.

Also understand these two things:


Stop believing your own thoughts. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to him and he will make your paths straight.

God knows our thoughts are unstable and unreliable, so He seeks to give us stability through our trust in Him. Always line up your thoughts against the character and Word of God, if they do not match, go with God.


I guarantee what you are facing is not new to God, He has overcome it before. Create a list of all the problems and challenges God has brought you through and all of your answered prayers. Refer to it often when facing challenges, you may be surprised to realize, God has already brought you something similar in the past. The only way fear works is to get you fixated on the present situation so much so that you forget the power of God. Perhaps you have never encountered anything like the issue you are facing, if so, go to the Bible. Read about the deliverance of the Israelites from Egypt, the defeat of Jericho or the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Grow in faith and be encouraged by the powerful examples of God’s love and loyalty in the Bible, that is why they are there.

Stop Running and Resist, FIGHT.

Let’s just be clear, you are in a battle.

You are battling for your faith, peace and ultimately God’s purpose and blessings for your life. In order to win this battle, you have to fight but not in your own strength, fight with God’s time tested weapons, God wins every time. I have tried to handle them in other ways and lost dismally. When I first started to feel anxious thoughts, I ran from them, I tried to drown them out in television, sleep, work, people, just trying to stay busy to outrun them. It worked for awhile and then they came back full force. I believe my battle with anxiety was much worse and lengthened because I tried to run for so long. I was so scared, I refused to face them. But James 4:7 says, “Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee.” These instructions are purposeful and ordered for a reason, once you submit your fear to God and trust Him to see you through, you can then resist the devil with the weapons of God and he will have to leave you. Why? The devil cannot withstand the power of God, he was made by God. The created can never overcome the Creator. Stop running and start fighting with the power of God.

The devil is hoping you will fight in your own strength because he knows you will not win. But the fight is fixed, God has already won the fight for you through Jesus Christ. Use the strategies and weapons He has given you to win and live the abundant life He has for you.

Be Blessed!


P.S. God knows the fight against fear is REAL and He gives us so many verses in the Bible that can be used to combat fear. Here are some of my favorites to get you started!

Hebrews 11:16

And without faith it is impossible to please Him for those that come to Him must believe that He is and He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to him and he will make your paths straight.

Matthew 9:29

Then Jesus touched their eyes and said, According to your faith, let it be done to you and their sight was restored.

Matthew 17:20

Because you have so little faith, Truly, I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.

Romans 1:17

For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed- a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written, the righteous will live by faith.

Romans 14:23

Everything that does not come from faith is sin.

1 Corinthians 16:13

Be on your guard, stand firm in faith, be courageous, be strong. Do everything in love.

Philippians 4:6-7

Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

My Atlanta Testimony

As I sit here, on a rainy Sunday afternoon, in my new apartment having just completed my first week of my new job in Atlanta, I am in awe. I have to talk about the absolute and total faithfulness of God. I am hoping you are like me and nothing inspires you like a good story of triumph. These are special moments when you can just see the faithfulness of God in your life or the life of others is truly breathtaking. These moments have to be shared to encourage others and bring glory to God. So here is mine.

Early 2016, I was seeking God for answers, I was ready for a new job opportunity, feeling restless and knew I had more to give in almost every area of life. in a moment of prayer, God shared with me that I would move to Atlanta. In Atlanta, He shared that He would grow me in every area of my life, career, family, purpose, everything. My reaction to this revelation was not excitement, I immediately responded, “No God, I am not moving down south and especially not to Atlanta. Not interested, what is the plan B?”

So the back story is Atlanta was a place I never wanted to be.

Let me level with you and share, when I moved to DC, I truly believed I would never leave. You see, I experienced DC for the first time as a summer intern while in my undergraduate studies.  I fell in love with the hustle and bustle (so exciting!), the metro (unheard of yes, I know), the monuments, tons of people to meet, the constant things to do and yes, even the politics. It was such a complete difference from Jacksonville, Florida where I was currently living.

And I knew, without a shadow of a doubt or so I thought, DC was MY city.

I tried to move to DC for about a decade and finally I got a job opportunity, once I arrived, I I jumped right into all DC had to offer. And I soon found, DC was not all that I thought and hoped for…because of me.

I soon tired of the constant hustle and bustle (it made me anxious), the metro (it was always breaking down and super expensive), the endless dating but no long term commitment (what happened to the white picket fence?). I found, the things that initially attracted me to DC were now major dissatisfiers. DC is a wonderful city with amazing people, but I was the problem, I did not know what I wanted. So I moved out to suburbia which I found to be much closer to my pace but close enough to the city for work and occasional weekend visits. There I was living in a state of compromise, a treaty if you will, when God dropped the bombshell of Atlanta in my lap.

Over the course of the next three months, God changed my heart so much so that I began to look forward to moving to Atlanta. It is SO awesome to me that God knew what I needed even when I did not. In hindsight, Atlanta is EXACTLY what I needed and wanted…but did not know.

One of my favorite Bible verses, Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do and He will show you which path to take.” His way is best for us, over time, it became less about Atlanta and more about alignment with God’s purpose for my life. To be out of step with God became a scary place for me and I was committed to following Him wherever He led…even to Atlanta.

Once I was onboard with His plan, God then told me to start telling people. And get this, He told me to tell them I, as in God, said you are moving there and I am going to do great things for you there. Sooooo again, another pregnant pause in our discussion, “Ok, ok, God, I just got comfortable with Atlanta and now you want me to tell everyone I am leaving because you said so. Eeeek!” But I was obedient and began telling friends, associates and anyone who God told me to share the news with. Most times, I got a surprised reaction followed by logical questions like, “ Well, when? Or how?” To which I had no reply except when God makes it happen. Next followed a look of confusion from my comrade, often an awkward pause and then a perfunctory, “Oh well that is nice.” 

I learned to get really comfortable with the awkwardness and accept it as par for the course. 

This was not quick process, for six months, that was my answer and there was no movement on God’s part, no job, not even an interview or inquiring phone call, just nothing but crickets. Not even a hint that there was anything brewing or in the works.

When you are walking in faith, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Each of us is waiting on something, whether it is a job, a husband or a wife, a child, a financial breakthrough, a healing, whatever it is it is so important to be obedient in the waiting process.


You may not understand, I know I did not. Do it anyway! People may think you are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, let them, you just keep the faith.


I now know the people I shared my move to Atlanta with would serve as witnesses to His works. Maybe, He may not want you to share His revelations with anyone but there is something else you need to do. Matthew 4:4 says, “ Man must not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” The biggest thing is to be obedient to whatever God tells you to do while you wait.

Enter 2017.

In January, I went on a spiritual retreat with girlfriends, we spent a long weekend in Ocean City, Maryland,  praying, fasting, seeking God, reading the Bible together, encouraging each other and spending time with God together and alone.

The day after returning home from the retreat, I received a call from Emory Healthcare in Atlanta with a job interview. One of my friends worked for Emory and shared my resume when a job became available. It was exactly the type of job I was looking for with major opportunities for advancement. I knew in my spirit, the job was mine. I interviewed over the phone and within two weeks I was in Atlanta for in person interviews with the staff. But wait, it gets better…

During this time, I was tapped to share my testimony with over 200 women. I told these ladies about God’s faithfulness in my life and declared the job as mine. As I shared my testimony, I began to learn about my purpose which is to share the love and power of God through public speaking and empowerment. But wait..

In February, I kicked off my ministry with a ladies brunch, I again shared my testimony and also had a speaker who addressed the importance of pursuing God’s purpose in our lives. And then…

About two weeks later, I received the long awaited phone call and was offered the job in Atlanta. I accepted and began the move to Atlanta. Wow, I am still in awe as I write this.

See, it really was not about Atlanta, it was truly about the journey that God took me on to get there, my faith got expanded like never before, I discovered my purpose along the way and God used me to inspire hundreds of women with what he was doing in my life. He also used me to inspire the women in my own personal circle, to encourage them to seek purpose and ultimately seek God. He did all of that on the way, not at the destination but on the way.

It makes you think is it really about destinations or do many victories and life changing moments happen when you get on your way?

Keep the faith and keep your eyes open, God is moving all around us. 



Beauty Trap

Hi Darling!

Beauty is an addiction and an obsession for many.

This world has equated the worth of women to the perception of their beauty. The impossible measure of beauty has caused many so much pain and that was never God’s intention in making women.

Many of us are always seeking the magic answer that will make us more beautiful, more desirable to the world. I just got finished watching 30 minutes on Youtube of mid-twenty wholesome, beautiful girls spending an inordinate of times transforming themselves with endless loads of makeup into glamazons. Amid compliments of “girl, your face is beat” and “SLAY….” they are just a shadow of their makeup-free, fresh-faced selves. When did we get so obsessed with our looks to the detriment of our inner beauty? When did we get so obsessed with ourselves? Trust me, I put myself in this category as well.

God made us beautiful, every single one of us.

Each one of us, He knit us perfectly in our mother’s wombs. When we were little, we knew we were magnificent and no one could not tell us any different. Slowly but surely, somewhere around grade school, the self confidence, the internal assurance began to crumble.

I remember one incident that especially hurt my self esteem. My mother had gone out of town and I was staying with a family friend. I really adored the daughters of this family, the older I worshiped and the younger I adored. On one particular day, it was just myself and the older daughter in the house. She was on the phone talking to a friend and complaining bitterly about me, “Her hair is so nappy and so thick, god, it is ugly!” In the next room, I heard every word she uttered and remembered the shame and embarrassment.

Subconsciously, I believed that something was wrong with me, with my hair and maybe I was not as amazing and beautiful as my mother told me.

As I grew, whenever there was a rejection it seemed like a confirmation of that destructive thought, “I am not pretty, I am not OK as I am.”

So I got in line, I permed my hair, I wore makeup, I wore the right clothing, I worked on being friends with the right girls and sought affirmation from men. I was elated when I received it and crushed when I did not receive it.

But no matter what, there was always this emptiness, I equate it to a black hole because the affirmation and the acceptance felt good for a little while but eventually I was needy again.

This world is unforgiving with women and it can never affirm us, people can never affirm us, only God can.

We have to go to God to find our worth to find our true beauty. He is the only one who can affirm us and fill up the black hole with his love, acceptance and encouragement, not people.

So here are my top five reasons why God can be the only answer to the aching question, “am I beautiful?”

Top 5 Reasons to Seek God for Affirmation

“A king’s heart is a water channel in the Lord’s hand:He directs it wherever He chooses.” Why waste your time seeking affirmation from ants when you can serve the Almighty God? He controls all things and all people.When God is rooting for you, He can turn the heart of your boss, the heart of your spouse, the heart of your enemy to benefit you. Proverbs 21:1 says in the Lord’s hand, the king can provide abundance, favor and blessings to God’s chosen. Look at the stories of Esther, Joseph, David, Daniel, and many others in the Bible who God hand picked and elevated through the governing powers of that time. Stop sitting at the kids table when God has a seat for you with adults.

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 says fearing the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom and those who fear the Lord shall be praised. Fleeting means vanishing quickly, short-lived brief and swift. So therefore, if you have hung your life on being beautiful what happens when beauty fades? Do not root your worth in temporal things.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” Your beauty should be innate as much a part of you as your energy and your soul. Beauty should not be something you can take off or put on for that matter like jewelry, clothes or makeup, it should be baked into your spirit. Taking on the character of Jesus, his humility and his kindness is beauty incarnate. When you find your beauty in worldly things in your external looks, it is counterfeit, not lasting. Find your affirmation and worth in the character of Jesus.

“For it was You who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful and I know this very well.” I read Psalm 139:14 countless times but I understood this verse much differently as I grew closer to the Lord. God made every single one of us, each person He handcrafted with precision and purpose. I do not know if you have ever knitted before, I tried it for a half a second and gave up in frustration. Knitting is not for the impatient, it is for the precise, the painstaking and the patient. And God took his time with you, He was precise, He was particular and He was purposeful. God makes no mistakes, He made you for a time such as this, He made you to look just as you do and you are perfection in His eyes, bump what everyone else thinks.

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly that you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” I was whining about some small annoyance to a dear sister friend in Christ, she listened patiently and then quoted Romans 12:3. It snapped me right out of my self-obsessed coma and I thanked her quickly for the correction. A huge reason why we crave affirmation is to feed our always hungry, never satisfied egos. Behind all of it is a sin that has proven to be the downfall of many including our enemy, that is PRIDE. Ladies, we have to check ourselves, check our prideful attitudes and our obsession with self. Jesus never thought of Himself only others, He was extremely obedient to God to the point of dying for us. We, too, must lay down our focus on self and focus on Christ.

God-dentity Part 1

Hey Darling!

Who are you?

It is a loaded question that stumps many. The dictionary defines identity as the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. Each of us has a self-defined identity whether you acknowledge it or not.

So what is your identity?

I asked several people this question and after a long pause, many launched into lengthy descriptions of a role, a position, demographic characteristics, status or even their achievements. The responses consisted of am an employee of a certain organization, a mother of three, a wife, part of a certain social group, I live in this certain area of town, I am part of this socioeconomic group, I am part of this ethnicity or even drive this type of car. I also heard responses based in skill, talent or achievements pertaining to intelligence, hard work, wit, extraordinary talent or even financial acumen.

Most of the responses were quite impressive but all flawed. All flawed because they are completely and utterly fickle and can fail us at a moment’s notice.

What happens if you lose your job? Or you get sick and are unable to maintain your appearance? What if you have a financial crisis and can no longer maintain the lifestyle you have built?

I am not spouting doom and gloom, this is just the course of life, we live in seasons and the only thing constant in life is change.

What happens when you have built your identity on something so shaky and it fails?

It is just like the parable, Jesus taught in Matthew 7:24-27, Jesus says, anyone who listens to the word of God is wise and builds his home on solid rock even with the violent storms and flood, the house will stand because it is built on stable and sound foundation. However, those who do not obey the word of God, build their house on sand and when the same storms and floods come, the house will collapse with a mighty crash.


These two homes represent two disparate ways of life. I imagine the homes could be identical, Jesus does not say but imagine the same aesthetics, same square footage, same room placement, furniture, down to the hard wood floors.

However the foundation makes all the difference, under pressure, one will endure and thrive, the other will be destroyed.

What is your foundation based on? The unstable and sinking sand of the world or the powerful bedrock of God’s unchanging word?

Spend a few moments thinking about your own identity, is it sandy or rocky?

If you are still baffled, think about this, how do you introduce yourself to others? Where do you spend your time? How do you spend your money? These are often telltale signs of where our sense of identity and self-worth lies.

I can honestly say my foundation was based in sand for a long time and in the storm, my house collapsed so I know this to be true. I based my identity on my possessions, other people’s opinions and affirmation of me, my social standing etc. It did not sustain me, people disappointed me, the stuff did not fulfill me and most hurtful of all, I failed myself. But by the grace of God, my house was rebuilt, this time on the rock with clear dependence on Jesus and placing my identity in Him and only Him, Before launching into a discussion about how to form our identity in Jesus, let’s start at the beginning with how God formed our identity.

Let’s take it back to Genesis, yes, the beginning of it all.

In the beginning, God created the foundation of our world horizontally, light and dark, sun, moon and stars, water and land. Then God began building vertically, first the trees and the plants that are formed in the water and land, then the animals that feed and depend on the trees and plants and then God created the pinnacle of His creation, man to rule over all of his creation. Genesis 1:26 says, Then God said, let us make human beings in our image to be like us.

You look like God, let that sink in.


If you really meditate on that, it will change your life. It is impossible to feel negatively about the way you look or anything about you, if you live in that fact.

The perfect and all powerful God looks like me. The flip side is you definitely cannot think negatively about the looks of any other person because he or she also looks like God. This truth will change your perspective about the appearance and characteristics of yourself and others.

You were made perfectly and intentionally, Psalm 139:13-14 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

At a former job, one of my co-workers is a knitting fanatic and invited our whole office to attend a knitting class right outside of Washington DC, in Alexandria, Virginia. I have always thought I was decently coordinated but knitting made me feel like I had six thumbs and one elbow. In short, I was bad, knitting is not my gift. But i did pick up on some key truths regarding the art of knitting that helped me to understand this verse better.

Trust me, knitting is truly an art.

Real talk, knitting is complex but also delicate work, much more so than sewing or crocheting. Before you can even get into the exciting part, you have to “cast on” which is the foundational process of knitting. If you make a mistake especially in the casting on process, you have to start all the way over.

Also, knitting is not quick work, it requires patience and persistence. My knitting co-worker needed several days to knit a scarf and several weeks to knit a sweater! Knitting is painstaking work without immediate gratification, it takes time to create a masterpiece worth presenting to your loved one. Hopefully, you are catching the parallels to the handiwork of God in your mother’s womb, He made you complex and He took His time, He was patient, He worked with precision yet delicately in love. When you came from your mother’s womb, you were His masterpiece, sculpted with His perfect hand.

I do not know about you but that fills me with so much confidence and joy to know the Creator of all things, heaven and earth, took His precious time to painstakingly form every part of my being.

And we are fearfully and wonderfully made, each one of us unique and different like the stamp of our thumb prints. Even identical twins, though they make look the same have different thumb prints, so amazing!

So I have to ask, where did we get so deluded?

We began to believe we need the external things of the world for validation of our identity. But God made us in His own image and not only that made us perfectly in our mother’s womb. The things of this world will convince you that you need more, need to do more, have more and just be more than what you are. However, God says, I made you enough from the beginning, no worldly additions are needed, you are enough. As you allow me to live in you and use you for your glory, you are free to be your best self, who I created you to be.

I hope this has encouraged you to know how loved and precious you are to God.

We are just scratching the surface, next week, we will dig into more discussion of how to form our identity in Jesus.

God-dentity Part 2

Hi Darling!

Imagine a beautiful baby princess who is stolen from birth and forced into slavery.

She grows up as a slave with no knowledge of her royal background and who she actually is. The king searches for years for his baby girl tirelessly but cannot find her and bring her home.

After thirty years, he finally locates and rescues his daughter. He is elated that he has found the one he loves most and is excited to be with her and restore her to the royal lineage.

Returned back to royal surroundings, she has a crown on her head, her clothes are beautiful with people now attending to her every need but, she still wakes up unconsciously preparing for a day of hard labor. Although she has all the benefits and surroundings of a queen, her mindset is still that of a slave. Often, this is the predicament of many Christian women even after we have accepted the Lord into our lives.

Although, we have been saved, our mindset is unchanged because we do not fully understand who we are and what has been given just for us.

When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, it erected a massive and untenable chasm between God and man. Even at that point of separation, God made a promise that he would reunite us to Him and He did that though Jesus.

When Jesus died on the cross, there was a Great Exchange, where He bore all of our sin, shame and wretchedness and in exchange, we received all of the beauty that is God, all the light, perfection, goodness, kindness and love.

Therefore all of our sin died with Him so we do not have to experience the shame and egret of the past or fear of the future.

However, many Christians have not truly received the full blessing of the Lord. We have not truly taken advantage of the grace that God has given us through the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

I do believe this pains our Heavenly Father.

How do you feel when you sacrifice all that you have for another and they treat your sacrifice carelessly or worse do not even acknowledge or use it?


As women who love the Lord, we should see it as our obligation and duty to live the abundant life God gave us.

I am not speaking of prosperity, although that can certainly be a blessing from God, I am speaking of freedom from spiritual bondage and of living in the fruit of the Spirit with love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, self-control.

I remember there was a time when I felt guilty for being too happy and surely something bad would happen next.

No! Not God’s will

So because of Jesus, who are we?


I am clean in God’s sight. I am honored and loved by Him. Isaiah 43:4


The blood of Christ saved you. This blood is of great worth and no amount of money can buy it. Christ was given as a lamb without sin and without spot. 1 Peter 1:19


God thinks I am beautiful. He sees no flaw in me Song of Songs 4:7


I am blessed by God and He surrounds me with favor as with a shield. Psalm 139:13-14


How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them. Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand..Psalm 139:17-18


For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before Him. Ephesians 1:4


No power in the sky above or in the earth below–indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39

These are just a few characteristics of your identity through Jesus and there are countless others articulated in the Bible.

Sometimes, it can be hard to believe these things when everything indicates differently.

How do you overcome negativity with God’ss truths? With the Word of God.

I can honestly say when I first began reading the Bible, my thoughts did not change overnight. It happened gradually and it was those day by day tests of casting down negative thoughts, choosing to operate in faith, believing God’s words over my own negative thoughts.

I would prop certain Bible verses on the dash of my car and say them over and over to myself, my favorite was, “Without faith, it is impossible to please God, for those who come to Him must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6

I still have to renew my mind consistently to fully live the abundant life. Consistency has been so important for me to maintain close relationship with God and actualize who He created me to be.

Determine a routine for renewing your mind about who you are in the sight of God.

When you hear something negative cast it down by saying, “Nope! God said I am chosen, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, I belong to God that I may declare the praises of Him who called me out of darkness into His wonderful light!”